Thank you Teacher Boris, see you next time!

Weird feeling: the last lesson is in the can as they say in Hollywood. Although I am fairly sure that I will continue to instruct people in some way, I am also pretty sure that they will not be 6 years old and in need of advice on anything from how to tie your shoelaces to doing homework the right way.

I'll miss it, but I had a good run. After my students drew, colored, held little speeches to wish me well, thanked me one last time and said see you next time (with an extra super special honorary wai-ing procedure) they ran out into the future like good kids do. As a matter of fact: so did I.

Reality check

Ah the joys of teaching. I'll miss it: standing in front of the class belting names, straitening them out when they need it, having fun, goofing off and running the show (because most if it is about The Show in Thailand).

Through it all though, I somehow manged to asses my students' development in almost every area. Dutifully scoring every worksheet, group exercise or test. Every move. Not only the important things like fluency, accuracy, behavior and creativity. I also kept track on how well my students stood in lines and sang the national anthem.

All this came together in my Fantastic Star System on the whiteboard. Good students get stars, bad ones get stars taken away and (after they hit zero) get demoted to the naughty/lazy student list on the other side of the white board until they shape up.

This being Thailand the goal is to keep that list empty and the level of sanook (fun) surrounding this list as high as possible (because boy, do those kids want those stars). One little flaw in the system: good students stay at a level of up to four stars (in the beginning) and up to six stars (in the final term). That's all the room I have and it makes it seem easy to reach the top.

Some kids stay at six stars for a long time without a lot happening. Not fair. So last Friday I marked two weeks worth of worksheets and decided to give everybody their 'real' score as an incentive to preform well on their final exams.

I did so with out prior notice while they were all finishing some Thai worksheet. But it didn't take them long to notice that I was erasing all the stars of good students, replacing them with numbers like 7 and then...8!

By the time I went in to the double digits they were all gasps and cries (mostly of joy). Some of the students with homework problems started quickly putting 'missing' worksheets on my desk. Especially after I explained that this was not the end of it and I would be giving enormous amounts of stars next week before and after the finals.

And then there it was for everybody to see: 'real' scores. Or at least pretty much as real as it gets in Thailand. Now the only trick is to make sure nobody gets left way down the bottom of the list. Remember: they are six/seven years old :)

Note: the picture is from the beginning of the previous year, when the scores are still near three stars. The the scores at the top are the team scores.

Whoa ho ho!

Christmas is a little different here in Thailand. It's one day of wild X-mas mayhem. What exactly goes on varies from place to place. But it's definitely not about long luxurious dinners with the family or baby Jesus here. It's about wearing red, going nuts and having fun. Especially if Santa's beard is falling off :)

More pics...... here!

Meanwhile, on the other side of the coin...

Some of you guys might think I spend my time in dread and go to school feeling all down and stuff because of all that nasty paperwork business. Not true. The most important thing is still great: the kids. Here's proof:

Fancy a headache?

If you are a regular here you know that all the teachers in Thailand have to do a cultural course. And exams. And another course. And more exams. And you have to do those in your own time. And you have to pay for them with your own money. And I refused to do any of that.

One of the reasons why is that the test subject matter and questions are ridiculous. And that's not only because of the bad English. You want a sample: here it is. From a pretest given out at the (FREE!) curriculum workshop that I did go to and that precedes the cultural course. Check it out. And if you figure out the answers be sure to post them in the comments. Good luck. You'll need it.

(click for a larger version)

Course+exams+course=you've got to be kidding me

And another update. The short and not so sweet of it: every foreign teacher's future in Thailand is up in the air. Especially if you have no degree in education and 'just' a TEFL course like me.

The latest can be found here and here and together with the previously posted account of what happens during the cultural course and what goes on at the various farangs in Thailand forums it doesn't paint a particularly rosy picture. For me (BA, work permit/Non B-visa, government primary school) it means this:

*I should first do the infamous cultural course for 3.500 Baht (or since I've refused to sign on for this one, later for +8000 baht in Bangkok) with my own money and in my own time.

*I should pass 4 huge and impossible exams for +1.000 Baht each and pay them again if I fail them even (which is very likely, since the questions I've seen online are either questions about Thai educational law or formulated in a language that only upon close inspection resembles English).

*According to the law as it is I should do all of this before the end of the school year or my visa and therefor my work permit will not be renewed. That's right: only the cultural course does NOT suffice, although at many schools people are being lead to believe differently.

*It is possible (but definitely not certain and not according to the law) that the government will grant last minute temporary licenses (no doubt for at least 500 baht) upon completion of the cultural course which can be used to extend your visa.

*It is possible (but definitely not certain and not according to the law) that the government will grant last minute temporary licenses if you sign on to/pay for the mandatory 1 year universal course in your own free time prior to doing the exams. This enormous course will cost you around 60.000 Baht 144.000 Baht.

This entire route to the coveted teachers license will set me back 8.000 + 4.000 + 500 + s>60.000 Baht 144.000 Baht= approximately 72.000 baht 156.000 baht(say 1.400 euros 3.100 eruos and I could get a real 1 year master's degree for that back home). Mind you, that is without taking into account the fact that I can not work on the side or spend my own time in other ways as I see fit. And it doesn't take into account that you might have to sit those exams again.

I can hear you thinking: what if you just pass those exams in one go. Alright. Let's assume that it's possible. Let's forget about the 95% that failed the exams that were previously held. That route would cost less: 8.000 + 4.000= 12.000 Baht (240 euros). Or cheaper still (had I signed up under the pressure of the Thai teachers): 3.500 + 4.000= 7.500 Baht (150 euros).

But I would still have to pay by myself and lose massive amounts of time doing nonsense. And although I usually do good at exams I'm not so sure I will be able to recall article 56 subsection D of the National Education Act without ever seeing it. Or the answer to any other question geared to making me fail and making me pay for the 60.000 144.000 Baht course for that matter.

Even if the school I work for would be so kind to pick up the tab (snowball's chance in hell), like some private schools have started to do, I would still either lose either tons of secondary income or the basic quality of life I came here for in the first place.

Worst of all: I don't feel like waiting around to see what happens and I simply can't afford to. It won't take long for most farang teachers to realize the same thing. We basically have until March and even that's a stretch...

Thai teachers' license and cultural course: bpai mai dai

I've reported before about the new law/scheme in Thailand where teachers are obligated to a whole string of courses/workshops/exams and maybe even a master's degree. Things looked a little better then.

It is clear to me now that someone at the Ministry of Education is so completely out of touch with reality that they might actually go through with this. My school has silently put everybody on the list for the first cultural course. I imagine the same is happening all across Thailand.

I've also tried to convince everybody to put it off and especially not to pay for it themselves before. That goes double for now. This is the time to just say no. No money! No: not even one exam or the first cultural course. Not one Baht! You're not going. It opens the door to more exams and courses and will probably leave you ten to twenty thousand baht in the hole at least.

Not to mention your personal time spent, the fact that this is all worth nothing anywhere else in the world, that it will not get you a pay raise, that it does not include a teachers' license (that's separate) and that it will in no way enrich your knowledge of Thai culture or your teaching skills. Don't believe me? Read this.

Guess where I'll be when they insist on this scheme...That's right: I'll be on that very first plane full of teachers out of here. Can the last teacher please turn off the lights? Thank you.

Dress to impress

Every now and then I've tried to explain it to people outside of Thailand: the dress code. Huh? You guys have a dress code? Yes. Gotta wear a tie? Sometimes and we wear yellow on Monday. Huh? We wear yellow on Monday. Why? For the king. The king came to your school? No.... I'll try to explain the elaborate ever changing rules one last time.

My school is probably one of the more traditional government schools in Thailand. So we have a stricter dresscode. But just like everywhere in Thailand (also in shops and offices) we wear yellow on Monday in honor of the king. A yellow polo shirt that is. With a specific crest.

It all started with the old crest in honor of the king's 60 years on the throne. That was worn on a yellow polo on Monday and Tuesday and by some the entire week. Then came the new crest for the king's 80th birthday. But you can still wear the old logo. Although on Monday it is preferred if you wear the new one. All this is still on a yellow shirt. You still with me?



Of course you can not not honor the queen. So that's why we wore blue for her on Wednesday. With or without a crest. On Thursday we do not honor the rainbow or something. It just means that we can wear any color (with a tie, don't forget the tie in a matching color). The Thai teachers (and students) wear their boy scout and girl scout uniforms that day. (Yes: we dogged a bullit).

Friday we wear yellow again. Not for the king. For the province. On Friday everbody in Thailand wears a design or color from their area. In Phuket Friday is batik shirt day and in Khon Kaen you are actually supposed to wear a yellow dinosaur shirt. But plain yellow's good too. Even a yellow polo with the old 60 year crest. Got that?

Unfortunately there's more. Since the death of Vadhana (in December 2007) we all had to wear black and white. Initially for a couple of weeks but it got extended to 100 days and as you can see we can still 'choose' to wear black and white every Tuesday and Wednesday. To complicate matters it seems that any dark color is okay too and on Wednesday I've already seen some dare devils go back to blue.

I can not begin to explain how important this dress code thing is to (most of ) the Thai. Outside the schools the king's shirts are still worn by all. And you should see what happens on special holidays where Thai style dress is the norm (yes: I do have an Isaan style jacket, no: I have no pictures....yet).

And then there's the pink shirt... Pay attention, it's been right there in the graph all along! The pink shirt is actually more a fad that got started when the king had to go to hospital (end of 2007). It looked touch and go for a while but he came out in good health and spirits and wore a pink jacket. Thai people have since then started to wear pink shirts with crests to keep wishing the king good health. Of course you couldn't do that on Monday (are you nuts?). But on Tuesday it's cool. That's to say it used to be cool because we still have to wear black for now.

We foreign teachers have so far tried to make Thursday into swimsuit-, polka dot-, neon-, birthday suit- floppy shoe and monkey tie day. Neither of those stuck. I'm open to suggestions :)

Fresh blood

Mmm: Fresh blood doesn't do these cute kids justice. How about 'New meat'? Kidding kidding . It should be titled something like 'Thailand's hope for the future' of course. They are Khon Kaen's best and brightest. Let's see if I can get them to be even brighter and... speaking English.

Teachers' license update

Like I've said before: I ain't paying or doing anything for the new teachers' license. So far the wait-them-out-strategy has payed off perfectly. By now everybody is in silent agreement that the school should pay for all those courses if they are held at all. Better yet: my (government) school has obtained a piece of paper allowing me to teach while I get my new licence. That in turn got me an extended visa and work permit for another year. So as far as I'm concerned that's it. Done. What happens after that, happens after that :)

The new Thai teachers' license

Teaching in Thailand means paperwork. And as of januari 2008 it is not only your degree which ties in with your contract which ties in with your non immigrant B visa which ties in with your work permit in various ways depending on the province you live in, what kind of school you work in and how lucky you are in the gouvernment officials you meet.

The new part of the equasion is the teachers' license and a new set of rules surrounding that piece of paper. For horror stories, panic and angry discussions you can head for the forums here and here.

Or you can save yourself a lot of heartache and just wait. Do nothing. And especially: don't give anybody any money. This is good advice folks. You could worry about the 'cultural course' you need to take. The fact that you might not have worked in Thailand for a year yet (which you need to have done to take the course). The four exams. The masters university course that takes about a year. The exam that goes with that. And the money it will all cost you. But the fact of the matter is that at this time the whole thing is up in the air.

The Ministry of Education plus the Teachers' Council are bending over backwards trying to figure out this mess before all the teachers leave. (Or so I am told by someone Thai who knows some one who is related to someone who is someone in the MOE). Other fact is that there is a big wack of money to be made and teachers are already being pushed in taking and paying for courses sarting in the first week of April.

Yes: they are trying to up the ante as to get rid of the beer money teachers. So if you if you got your degree at the University of Ko San Road, you are probably in big trouble or you'll be teaching at home only. But if your papers are legit you have no reason to start packing yet. Also there is (in my humble opinion) no reason to start taking any of the courses and paying big money, because it is very likely that within the time you get to jump through these hoops (anywhere between one and three years), the rules will be changed to accommodate everybody again. You can get all the other paper work done with a receipt that shows you have registered as to later definitely take this course somewhere maybe never.

I have been lucky enough to have seen seen how the course is layed out and I've also seen the the curriculum. It's contents is completely pointless, the exams preceed the course and it can't hold a candle to any TEFL course. Can you spell E-X-E-M-P-T-I-O-N? Furhtermore the whole Masters degree in Education thing is going to be axed because it's too much, too expensive and nobody wants a Thai Masters degree anyway. And if you already have one you are probably in Japan making the big Yen. So everybody sit thight and don't pay. You guys who've paid already: don't pay any more. Deal?!

Let's wait for them to come up with a realistic and reasonable reform that is in touch with the problems present in Thai schools today. And if they don't we'll just leave after a year :)

Morlam camp

Just got back from English camp. In Thailand that does not mean a whole lot of learning English. The emphasis is on fun. Which is way a hall filled with about 140 six-to-nine-year-olds soon turned into a frenzy when the hired (Thai) teacher decided to sing a little morlam and I decided I could play a little drums.

Morlam? Music from North East Thailand/Laos that is. In this case of the fast paaaaarty variety. Because any description would fall short (and also because I couldn't film and play drums at the same time): here's some You Tube Morlam to give you an idea. Imagine 140 kids belting the fast part out and the whole place turning in to a mosh pit that would give Slayer fans a bit of a scare. Got the image? Click play. And yeah: it's karaoke. Don't forget to sing along :)

Plus and minus

So what is true about all the stuff you hear about teaching in Thailand? Is it really that good? Is it that bad? Probably not. Here's a pro and con list: you decide.

Pro

+ Teaching can be very sabaai sabaai (Thai for: easy going)

+ The kids and most people you work with are very endearing

+ You'll get a unique perspective of Thai culture

+ No worries about cold winters: the sun will shine!

+ Good food always, everywhere

+ The cost of living (especially in Isaan) is very cheap

+ You are giving people a (huge) opportunity

Con

- Disciplining can be a problem for some teachers

- The range in a classroom is a challenge: from clever to slightly autistic

- Expectations of parents and the school can be very unrealistic

- Sometimes everything else seems more important than learning

- Thai culture can be puzzling and sometimes frustrating

- Saving money and good health insurance can be a problem

A lot of these points depend greatly on one thing: the way YOU look at it. In my school teachers have left crying in the middle of their 1st lesson, never to be seen again. Other teachers have been coasting along for years.

Stop the press!

I always read The Bangkok Post and The Nation. Especially the letters people send in and especially the ones written by frustrated teachers. Lately they were frustrated about all the cheating going on and the fact that no one did anything when they went and shot their mouths off, slammed doors and got red faced.

So I decided to weigh in on the matter and wrote an email to the Bangkok Post. It looks like they published it (scroll down). Now all I've got to do is find a copy of the real paper issued today. Or maybe it's in tomorrow's paper. If I find one I'll scan it of course. Text 'postbag on' for hourly updates as this story develops...

Update: there it is, in today's paper (click to enlarge):

Just because we cam

New on blogger: movies. Let's try it out. An oldie from last year. It features Pim and Punch and Aun-Aun and me almost falling over.

D is for dicipline

I teach. Everybody knows that. But few know how. A question that pops up every now and then is: 'Are you strict?' And the answer is: 'Yes.' That's a shocker for most. Few ask: 'Why?' The answer to that is simple: 'Because I have to.' Thai kids don't learn good behavior at home. They don't know about limits, dealing with anger, defeat, in fact: you name it and they don't know about it. Since I teach grade one, I am the first to guide them. Did I mention there are 35 of them? I am their teacher, their father, their big brother and super role model in every way. Quite a task. And yes: punishment is necessary. But I like to reward. For all you fellow teachers in Asia: this is my method and it works wonders.

1) Have a column on one side of the whiteboard marked 'Good students' (make it nice and colorful, add a cartoon character). On day one, put all the student's names in it.
2) Have a column on the other side of the whiteboard marked 'Naughty students' (no: not 'bad students', they are just misguided remember? :) Of course this side of the board is drab. I use a badly drawn unhappy smiley.
3) Explain what's gonna happen at the first transgression. Praise everybody for being on the good side.
4) Do your lessons. Warn the students when they get out of line. After the third time: erase them from the good side.
5) If the same student talks/plays/hits/forgets their homework/what evers again: put his or her name on the naughty side. Be sure to show your disappointment.
6) If the same student talks/plays/hits/forgets their homework/what evers again: add the number 10 behind the name. That means: write ten lines. Increase with 10 with every transgression. I use a tracing sheet with: 'I am sorry Teacher Boris'.
7) When you hit 50 or 100 lines: put them outside/take them to the principal/contact their parents. Normally you will rarely reach this point.
8) The kids get their lines on Friday. That means they will try to keep out of trouble until Friday or get more lines for the weekend.
9) On Monday you collect the sheets (and here's the important part), erase everybody from the naughty side, and put them back on the good side. Praise them. In my class the other kids even applaud.
10) If a kid scores a very high mark whilst being on the naughty side of the whiteboard (with or with out lines) and is clearly trying hard to be good: erase their name abd put it on the good side with due praise. In my class that happens only when they score 5 stars.
11) Kids that behave well and score high marks on their assignments or homework, or do what ever well get marked with a red star. The best student of the week (1 boy and 1 girl) gets a small gift or a piece of candy. It works very well if a student draws their own star behind his or her name .
12) Keep the kids just below the top on their toes by sometimes taking away the star. Be fair.

Of course this method needs to be tweaked a little for older students where it's about being cool and the pressure comes from the group more. The idea is to correct behavior, have many opportunities to do it and make it easy to get to to the good side.

One more tip: you can play angry. I do the old fire and brimstone routine every once in a while. But never be angry. It will eat you and all your energy up and you'll end up getting eaten alive by your class. Not a pretty sight. Believe me, I've seen it.

In case your wondering: the maximum number of students I've ever had on the naughty side: seven. Usually, it's three :)

Viva la visa!

Not only have we signed up for a new year at our school, we also got an early start at getting all the paperwork done. For everybody outside of Thailand: getting a new visa is not a going-to- the-right-window-and-taking-a-number-kind of affair. It requires skill and especially determination. Just so you won't think I'm biased. Here is a completely factual and full length play by play.

December
We start asking the school to make sure that this year all the paperwork is set in motion before the end of March. Several of us are going on trips abroad and if you leave the country without a new Non Immigrant B visa, you'll have to start the whole thing from scratch: tourist visa, leaving the country, applying for a Non-B and so on.

January
We check what we need to bring as well as we can. Information online and in real life is often vague or contradictory. Especially because we do not only need a new Non-B visa. We need a work permit extension and a re-entry permit (because we're going out of the country).

February
Nothing much happens. Except of course for teaching assistants preparing documents we sign.

March, week one
We start pushing for an as near as possible date to go to the immigration office and the labour department. We find out that the school has already booked the school van for the visa run for the last week of March (!). If even the slightest thing goes wrong, there will be no time to correct it.

March, week two
Not only have our prayers been heard, when we push for this Friday, the school says 'OK' (Yaaaaaaay). But then says: 'wait a minute' and makes it Monday (Awwwwwwww).

March, week three, Monday
We show our work permit at the office, evidently this year we do not have to have the visa first. Good. Not so good: There is no one available to sign for the use of the school van trip to Udonthani (1 hour), where there is an immigration office. Trip postponed to Tuesday. Tess reminds us all to bring pictures and no matter who we ask, no body is sure about the size.

March, week three, Tuesday
We all jump aboard the school van at seven AM. Because it is Tuesday, we have to go to the main office in Nong Kai (a three hour trip). Half way trough we are asked if be brought everything on a list. Miraculously Everybody has everything. Pictures in all sizes, passports, work permits and a unbelievable stack of forms per person (each page copied three times).

We arrive before the crowd even though we had to stop in the city to shop for a present to give to the immigration officer. He has a reputation of disliking farang (which is fair enough because he mostly sees the wrong kind). So a big box with the huge ribbon is bought to smooth things over. Legend has it that there is a big bottle of Thai whiskey in the box, but our questions about its content are met with silence and smiles by the Thai teachers.

We start filling in the forms give our passports and for a moment it looks bad. The officer is tearing pages out of stacks and saying that there is stuff missing. But suddenly (after muffled discussions with the head of our delegation) I have to hand in my forms. I'm not even done with the second one. But ten minutes later I'm holding my passport with all the right stamps.

Then it's time to pay up. Of course we asked if we should bring money. The answer was 'no'. But apparently the treasury department of the school refused to fork over the dough. We painstakingly gather just enough money by borrowing the odd thousand Bath from the Thai teachers. Then it turns out that we have to pay more for our re-entry permit. Twice the price stated on the form. When we point that out the officer simply says: 'That is the old form.'

After some shopping and making sure that the school is going to pay us the money back, we arrive back in Khon Kaen.

March, week three, Wednesday...
Hand in our work permit to get the stamps and signatures.

March, week four, ...Sunday
Write this all down on the blog. Still hoping my work permit will be back before I leave for Bangkok. I have to say that it's looking pretty good. Mind you: this is actually the smooth way of getting your paperwork done. If you do it without the help of a government school and let's say you don't speak any Thai at all... Good luck!