Normalcy

Hold your horses: I know it's been a while. This time it was on purpose. I was playing a little game. A game called: Gee How Much Time Before You Feel Normal After An International Move. Well now you know. Of course some things are still weird. And what is normal anyway. But I don't walk around in wonder all the time anymore. So I guess this is it. More little experiments to come...

Alternate realities

Back in Holland and it's a lot of fun. Of course it's fun seeing friends and family. But I really get a kick out of the Star Trek thing: I know all these places and faces but a lot of the little details are off. I feel like I've been trough a wormhole or a space time anomaly. And of course I'm the only one who notices anything. A shop that was never there before. All the milk cartons have changed. Some one suddenly does a completely different job and has two kids... A lot can happen in almost four years.

I must confess: what helps is that I forgot a lot of things. How very windy Holland is. Or where exactly a restaurant is and how exactly you get there. Also good for that Twilight Zone feeling: I am used to do a lot of stuff Asian style. Sometimes I struggle to express things in Dutch instead of English or Thai. I feel my countrymen are pushy or smelly or have no manners whatsoever. And although sometimes it brings some discomfort: it never ceases to amuse me. It's so weird. I've stared at a couple of times already with that 'what are you smiling about-look'.

The long list turns to joy?!

I am currently in the process of trying move house (well: continents actually) without losing my head. And: without a house waiting for me on the other said so far.

From the moment I said 'yes' to the new gig, my to do list became a mile long. Who to tell and in what order? (This is still Asia). Where to get tickets? How to transfer all the Thai money to Euros? When to take the bus to Vientiane to get a new visa? Which books and things can I bring? What am I leaving behind? You get the picture.

The first time I did this (four years ago) was a little chaotic, quite hectic and very exciting at times. This second time around there's a lot more space to enjoy the process and the things and the people you're leaving behind. This of course has a lot to do with going back to a place and having done it before.

It will be very familiar to be back. On the other hand: I'm pretty sure a lot has changed in four years and it will be fun to reacquaint myself with my home town. And with the other mile long to do lists that are surly waiting. Hold on. I'm coming. At least here will still be here and now will still be now.

Dave ordains

I wrote earlier about my friend David planning to ordain as a monk. Well: he did it. He's Luang Phee David now (in this monastery). But the real challenge, of course starts after the chanting. It is no coincidence that being a monk and maintaining mindfulness has been compared to entering a cave full of tigers...

Anyway... more pictures HERE.

Whoa ho ho!

Christmas is a little different here in Thailand. It's one day of wild X-mas mayhem. What exactly goes on varies from place to place. But it's definitely not about long luxurious dinners with the family or baby Jesus here. It's about wearing red, going nuts and having fun. Especially if Santa's beard is falling off :)

More pics...... here!

Don't Phin me down

A friend of mine decided it was time to become a monk. In Thailand, that's not uncommon. In fact: most Thai men ordain for a couple of months when they are in their teens or twenties. It's sort of a rite of passage.

My friend, how ever, has just turned 50 and what's more: he's a farang. Now, many foreigners come to Thailand to flirt with Buddhism. But few have the resolve to go and study at a so called forest monastery. (Students of Ajarn Chah, like the Australian Ajarn Brahm are a notable exception).

My friend has that resolve (for now). I add the 'for now' with the least bit of sarcasm. Because for him it means he will be doing some bare bones (and knuckles) meditation practice in the jungle (forest is a bit of a misnomer). Stuff like getting up at four in the morning. Eating only what you from your alms rounds and: not eating at all after twelve o' clock.

There are many more rules and the forest tradition in Thailand is famous for being strict (as opposed to most others). One of those other rules for monks is: no music. And first and foremost: no possessions. That's were I come in. Because my friend used to own a handmade Isaan guitar called the phin.

Used to, because now I have it. Which means I've started to try and play it. This is fun but by no means a piece of cake. The tuning is slightly strange (three strings EAE), the instrument is fretted for the Thai eight tone scale and the morlam music you're supposed play with it is mostly very, very fast. Which is why I won't be playing any Thai festivals any time soon. Or in Bangkok at the roadside for spare change like this fantastic phin shredder:

EVERYBODY PANIC!!!!

Yes: Thailand is in a spot of bother. Over the last years there have been several bomb explosions, violent clashes and military coups. Well one. But it's not over yet. Convicted megalomaniac fugitive ex-Prime Minster Taksin is said to still rule the country from abroad by proxy and half of Bangkok (joined in the PAD) is trying to shake off everything that has anything to do with him, while behind the scenes the army is wielding considerable (and unpredictable) power.

For now the army seems to have sided with the PAD. That is to say, both the PAD and the army agree on one thing: current PM Wongsawat (Thaksin's brother in law) should quit. Preferably before the birthday of the King (which is on the 5th of December).

Meanwhile here in Isaan (as in most of Thailand) there is no sign of any trouble at all. Yes, there are deep divisions and there's discontent. But the markets are bustling as usual, people are celebrating the local silk festival and life generally goes on as it has done for centuries.

Which is why I'm just a tad surprised when a renowned English paper like the Telegraph has put Thailand at number seven(!) in the dangerous-country-top-twenty. After countries like Iraq, Afghanistan and Sudan.

I've written an article like that myself years ago, managing to research it well for some reason. I found that the most dangerous places in the world (say the top 10) have been the same for years. Like Colombia, with it's exciting drug wars and unexpected kidnappings into pristine deep jungles. But apparently Thailand is way more dangerous than that now with it's closed airports and thousands of inconvenienced travelers.

Thailand is also deemed more dangerous than the Democratic Republic of Congo with it's panoramic view over war torn Africa, the Occupied Palestinian Territories and a hand full of other exotic countries with long standing travel warnings by the FCO. Countries were tourists are actually targeted. But I guess those sorry old stories don't sell any papers.

Interesting thing, that FCO list. Sure, Thailand has been on it for years too (because of the trouble in the deep south). But there's only one country in the world you really shouldn't go to at all: Somalia. Funny how that one never made the Telegraph...

Game over

You probably don't know this about me, but I have led a double life for the past month or so. I've been making Fantastic Contraptions (and there is no twelve step program for it).

FantasticContraption is a game unlike any I have played. It brings out the engineer in you. The wonderfully frustrated cursing engineer up in the middle of the night hunched over the computer screen with a contorted face. That too.

Because you have to get the pink thing in the other pink think you see. Most of you are familiar with that sort of process (nudge wink) but not like this. You can build whatever you like to do the job but you've got to stay in the blue box you see... The best thing about the game: after you do a level, can check out what other people constructed.



Anyway: check it out at FantasticContraption.com. And while you're at it: check out my creation called 'extendedversion' (press play and continue) that made it through the last level. My work is done...

In a handbag

I struggle yet again to explain something Thai to people abroad. This time it's the protests and clashes, why they are different and why nobody knows what's going to happen, really.

First things first: why are they protesting? Well, let's narrow 'they' down. There are three groups. One: the Democratic party members and followers who have stormed Government House and refuse to leave the lawn because they want the current PM Mr. Samak to leave because he is a vote buying puppet of Mr. Taksin who used to be PM and left for the UK because he didn't want to face the corruption charges in Thailand.

Two: there are the people that would like Mr. Samak to stay in office because he has vowed to help the poor like Mr. Taksin did, mainly by literally giving them cash (and according to the opposition taking it right back out of their pockets because they use the money to buy and use mobile phones on Mr. Taksin AIS network).

Three: a variety of often overlooked people that think neither of the two main groups are going to make a difference and want something else to happen. The reason why all these groups clash is obvious. They don't agree. But what makes these protests the most violent in decades is that this has all been festering for at least three years. But that's not the only thing that makes this time around special.

For the first time in Thai history the government has lost control over the media. Suddenly there are articles like this one in a normally loyal newspaper and what was worse: for an hour or two there was live coverage of heavy clashes between the riot police, protesters, bystanders and the press broadcast to the entire nation. People were outraged. And as a result even in rural Khon Kaen more and more people have started to clearly voice their opinion. Another first.

While everybody was expecting this thing to turn very bloody very fast unless Mr. Samak would step down, nothing like that has really happened (yet). How long cab a stalemate like that last? Suddenly there is even talk of a referendum. But the question is if that could really fix a society that seems to be torn between traditional values and market value. We can only wait and see.

Not again

It takes a little while for news to filter through to rural Isaan. Even in it's bustling capital Khon Kaen. So last night when my neighbor told that they were protesting in Bangkok again I didn't think much of it. Until he pressed me to try to find out what the western media were saying about it. So I looked. This is what I saw.... And no: this is not small potatoes. Especially after the arrest warrants issued for guys orchestrating this protest. This should end well....

Update 29/8: On live TV there is ample footage of the police storming the grounds by brute force. People you talk to on the streets are outraged about this. The media is having a field day showing women and kids getting whacked. Although according to the Bangkok Post it wasn't all that bad...

Dress to impress

Every now and then I've tried to explain it to people outside of Thailand: the dress code. Huh? You guys have a dress code? Yes. Gotta wear a tie? Sometimes and we wear yellow on Monday. Huh? We wear yellow on Monday. Why? For the king. The king came to your school? No.... I'll try to explain the elaborate ever changing rules one last time.

My school is probably one of the more traditional government schools in Thailand. So we have a stricter dresscode. But just like everywhere in Thailand (also in shops and offices) we wear yellow on Monday in honor of the king. A yellow polo shirt that is. With a specific crest.

It all started with the old crest in honor of the king's 60 years on the throne. That was worn on a yellow polo on Monday and Tuesday and by some the entire week. Then came the new crest for the king's 80th birthday. But you can still wear the old logo. Although on Monday it is preferred if you wear the new one. All this is still on a yellow shirt. You still with me?



Of course you can not not honor the queen. So that's why we wore blue for her on Wednesday. With or without a crest. On Thursday we do not honor the rainbow or something. It just means that we can wear any color (with a tie, don't forget the tie in a matching color). The Thai teachers (and students) wear their boy scout and girl scout uniforms that day. (Yes: we dogged a bullit).

Friday we wear yellow again. Not for the king. For the province. On Friday everbody in Thailand wears a design or color from their area. In Phuket Friday is batik shirt day and in Khon Kaen you are actually supposed to wear a yellow dinosaur shirt. But plain yellow's good too. Even a yellow polo with the old 60 year crest. Got that?

Unfortunately there's more. Since the death of Vadhana (in December 2007) we all had to wear black and white. Initially for a couple of weeks but it got extended to 100 days and as you can see we can still 'choose' to wear black and white every Tuesday and Wednesday. To complicate matters it seems that any dark color is okay too and on Wednesday I've already seen some dare devils go back to blue.

I can not begin to explain how important this dress code thing is to (most of ) the Thai. Outside the schools the king's shirts are still worn by all. And you should see what happens on special holidays where Thai style dress is the norm (yes: I do have an Isaan style jacket, no: I have no pictures....yet).

And then there's the pink shirt... Pay attention, it's been right there in the graph all along! The pink shirt is actually more a fad that got started when the king had to go to hospital (end of 2007). It looked touch and go for a while but he came out in good health and spirits and wore a pink jacket. Thai people have since then started to wear pink shirts with crests to keep wishing the king good health. Of course you couldn't do that on Monday (are you nuts?). But on Tuesday it's cool. That's to say it used to be cool because we still have to wear black for now.

We foreign teachers have so far tried to make Thursday into swimsuit-, polka dot-, neon-, birthday suit- floppy shoe and monkey tie day. Neither of those stuck. I'm open to suggestions :)

Calling all athletes: go to China!

I have thought about it: why not boycott the 2008 summer Olympics and show China we're fed up with their government executing and torturing more people than any country in the world. Or because they're destroying the environment at an unbelievable rate, the fact that the Chinese have no free press, half the Internet is inaccessible, or beacuse of all that lead paint on toys and stuff. But the Olympics are a sports event people. So there you go. Sports. Not politics.

We have talked about it. Boycotting the Olympics. Especially here in Thailand after monks, journalists and unarmed civilians got shot, detained and disappeared in Burma. A despicable regime backed up in force by the Chinese rulers because of the oil and jade trade. But truth be told: athletes have been training to go for gold since long before they knew where the 2008 Olympics would be held. If an athlete decides not to go he or she will not only throw away years of training; someone else will go and win the gold medal that could have been theirs. What good could possibly come form that?

China & Tibet

Now everybody is again chanting: boycott the Olympics! This time it's because of Tibet. A repressed region annexed in 1959 (!) by the Peoples Republic of China that immediately began systematic eradication of every bit of its original culture. Temple by temple, door to door, song by song, word for word, hope against hope, piece by piece. Just a few days ago a hundred protesters got killed partly because the Chinese government is turning the Tibetan capital Lhasa into a Tibetan Disneyland for huge profits. Or maybe they just a little cross with the army that has occupied their country for -count them- 49 years.

Real sportsmanship

Now here's why all athletes should definitely go to Beijing: not for politics. But to champion real sportsmanship and fair play. Compete and win your medals before the eyes of the world. Go for gold. We want to see records shattered. Epic matches. Glorious winners. Gracious losers. Men and women being the best they can be. And then when it is time to get on the stage to accept the medal: refuse before the eyes of the world. Don't even show up for the ceremony. Empty platforms. Awkward deafening silences. The only appropriate way to get the Chinese government where it hurts.

Too Thai to handle

Thailand is the land of smiles. Thailand is also the land of repressed emotion, a darker side of this culture you won't see on the news a lot. A darker side that surfaces more in the south, according to Thai people. They're hotheads you see. Thought of as being the most inferior of the Thai people. My two cents: this dark side has more to do with everybody getting more and more out of touch with the old cultural values that held everybody together.

Where were we? Ah yes: repressed emotion Mr. Spock. Which brings us to our story. This scary story. And I must be becoming a bit too Thai. Because some dark part of me actually understands the reaction.

In my neighbourhood there's at least one of these extremely loud karaoke parties for the drunk and the tone deaf every week. Right under your bedroom window if you're unlucky. With John Denver. And they won't turn it down. Asking them is useless. And it will go on. And on. And on. And it will roughly sound like this: Thay-me hoooooo cuntly looooooooow to a plaaaay wheh I belooooooh!

See what I mean?

A broken word: why Holland has changed

Update 25/2: Do Dutch politicians read my blog now? Here's one that has just claimed 'it might be time to do away with allochtonous'. Too bad he manages to say it in a very uninspiring way. People on blogs are now talking about what to replace the term with. Helloooo! It needs to be scraped!

----The original post:

Sometimes I have to try to explain that Holland has changed. It starts when whoever I'm talking to says things like:' You are lucky. People in your country are really tollerant/free/open minded.'

A simple 'It's different now' usually won't do. And I find myself struggling to explain just how things have changed. 'It has to do with allochtonous and autochtonous citizens, you see...' And usually they don't. Because in English those (Greek based) words are only used in their original (and rare) scientific context. In the field of bacteriology for instance. Or demographics, which is where it came from in the Netherlands. Autochtonous people are from a certain region of a country. They have probably migrated there at one time or another, but they belong to families that have stayed in that region for generations.

Allochtonous ('allochtonen' in Dutch) people are the newcomers in such a region. Simpel as that. No problem. It probably generated some fascinating statistics used in urban planning during the 70's and that was it. Until the word 'allochtonous' popped up in the media and got all confused with the words 'immigrant' and 'illegal immigrant'. By now (ten or fifteen years later) 'allochtonous' basically means 'foreigner/stranger/colored person that doesn't belong here and causes trouble.' And it sounds completely politically correct. So much better than 'Gook' or 'Black' or especially 'Arab'.

For some reason almost everybody in Holland forgot that, when it comes to people crossing your borders, these are the only categories that exist:

1) Tourists: they come, get stoned and drunk, look at the windmills and the red light district, write a postcard and go home.

2) Expats: they come into the country at keep their foreign nationality and legally do work we won't or can't do (as well).

3) Immigrants: these guys and galls come in search of a better future for some reason or another and apply for and then (here's the kicker) become Dutch nationals. Get it? They are now Dutch where ever they came from. Even if some of them do keep their old passports. Remember that.

4) Illegal imigrants: they come in the country under the radar without being granted asylum or jobs and try to scrape by without getting caught until they are and get thrown out the country.

5) Asylum seekers: the grueling in-between-status you have while you wait for your new nationality or for your journey back to where you came from.

Of course there are also Dutch nationals becoming expats or even emigrants, but these are less relevant here. So there you have it: 'allochtonous' is not even an option. And even if it was: in one or two generation they are supposed to be autochtonous any way. Of course the problem is that the Dutch have not fostered or demanded any of the new Dutch to adapt to Dutch society in any way. And when that got out of hand we failed to reach out and include those people, like say...the city of New York. You are a New Yorker even before you get citizenship. Bad English and all. In Holland you get excluded and branded 'allochtonous citizen'.

What is more: it has given rise to a whole bunch of ignorance based xenophobic ideas and tendencies. On both sides. Because what will you feel like with your new Dutch passport if you are not welcome? Dutch? Of course not. You are going to feel more Turkish/Morocan/Somalian/ whatever. That's what you know and probably miss. This effect will take at least decades to wear off, especially if no one can fix this word so that it means what it should mean again. Or just scrap it. Fine by me.

Anyway: next time I can tell whoever I'm talking to, to just read my blog. Part of this expat farang (ironically the Thai version of allochtonous) actually hopes that he or she will still not understand...

There is such a thing!

Yesterday we wanted beef noodle soup for lunch. Of course we drove to the best beef noodle shop in Khon Kaen. It's the best because of good ingredients, the fine taste, the snappy service, but also because it comes with a great story.

This family place got started because the man of the house left his wife and went to live with his mistress. The woman was left with the kids, the (very nice) house, but no money. So she decided to start making beef noodle soup and sold it from her front porch to whoever passed by in the little Soi the house stood in. The soup was so good that before long she needed to convert the garden and front porch of her house to a seating area. That is still the area you get served your soup in today. By now however, the husband has returned to his wife and they and their costumers live happily ever after.

When we arrived at the house yesterday though, something seemed weird. The lay out was different some how. The porch was full of people as usual, but they were very surprised to see us walk in for some reason . I checked my fly. It was closed. And the menu/pricelist on the wall confirmed that this was indeed the right place. But we were soon met by an official looking lady who wondered what we wanted. Well: beef noodle soup of course. Laughter all around. The lady told us that today there was no beef noodle soup because they had just had a merit making ceremony. I looked around. The monks had already left but I could see the elevated mats they sat on and the bowls of food that they were offered.

We must have looked really disappointed, because half a second later we were sheparded to a table and another split second later that table was full of food. Not just any food: the good stuff. Thick massaman curry, seafood cooked inside a coconut, Thai sour and spicy salad...you name it. 'Special menu today.' We ate and ate and ate and then asked for the bill, knowing that there full well that there wouldn't be one, but resigned to at least make a contribution or donation to what ever this merit making ceremony was for. Our friendly host and her grandmother (who had cooked most of the food) wouldn't hear of it. 'Never mind: we have just made some free extra merit'.

So there you go and there you have it. Western thought/philosophy update your textbooks or throw them out: there IS such a thing as a free lunch. Confirmed, noted and filed under realities shattered.

Off topic: there is also such a thing as free picture viewing on facebook. No signing in. Just looking and clicking and saying ooooh and wooow and awwwwww. Here are my new photo albums:

Snapshots: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=40407&l=e7e81&id=626245873

Testing out my new camera: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=37584&l=77d74&id=626245873

Oldies but goodies: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=39911&l=7f278&id=626245873

My kids: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=39536&l=0246c&id=626245873

Vote Oboema!

Can you believe that somewhere in the 90's there was a character called Oboema (pronounced: Obooma) the white negro on a Dutch comedy show called Jiskefet? Well it's true. What are the odds! So this poster's for all you Dutchies. And here's a link to some clips. Go practice your Dutch. Go on.

Don't you eat over there?

Some people have been wondering why I haven't mentioned food for a long long time. These are the people who know I would take snapshots of my meals on every holiday. So where are those shots now?

Good question. First of all I am not on holiday. But most of all I just figured you guys know about Tom Yam Goong and the Thai curries already. Not to mention the good old chicken and cashew nuts. Here's something you might not know though. Kai en Noi (my neighbours) knock on the door and give this to us every once in a while, because they know we like it so much.






And when you open it up it looks even better:





This is a Thai delicacy called 'kanom kao niao daeng' aka sweet red sticky rice and you won't be able to get this anywhere outside of Thailand, unless you are really lucky. The name is almost the recipe: it's red sticky rice in lots of syrup and covered in white sesame seeds. It is really good. Next time when you are near a Thai night market, ask around. You can thank me later.

Off to a good start

We're doing mojitoes and cheese here in Khon Kaen. Too bad I can't give you a mojito. But here's some cheese :)



A happy 2008!

Now what?! (8)

Last post of 2007. Part of the most popular post-series on my blog: Now what?! That's gotta be because of the insane prizes we give away every time. And all you have to do is get your hands on the buzzer and -quiet in the audience please- be the first to tell us what brand this is....





Piece of cake. Ish. Get it? And the he answer is.... In the comments! (But you knew that, right?)

The day after the night before

Well: it seems the PPP (and therefor Thaksin's former party members) have won the elections. What's next? It will be interesting. Who will rule with whom in the coalition government? Will the bigger-than-ever-democrates join their archenemy? Will the military really let this slide? Will Thaksin indeed come back on Valentines day and will he still need to face corruption charges? I don't know. I do know that the poor people of Thailand have clearly voiced what they want and who they want. Forget coups and what some rich people in Bangkok had planned. That's democracy.

But you've got to wonder if the poor have made a clever, well informed choice here. Because the media do play a role and so does public opinion. But the average Thai does not get is info online, on TV, or in the paper. Information like that is just not out there they way it is in western countries. And if it were (see my post yesterday)it might not make a difference. Candidates rely on being known in an area, on word of mouth and... on this way of putting their message across believe it or not (roll tape):